Okay to be clear, classic reaction projection is actually how to only feel like you win, but you actually lose. Beware! Be self-aware and conscious.
From Wikipedia: “Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.
According to some research, the projection of one’s negative qualities onto others is a common process in everyday life.“
If I had my druthers, I would reverse the process. In a perfect world, we would recognize pleasant properties of others and seek to emulate them. When confronted with an unpleasant challenge, then it becomes a “You Da Man” battle.
In the real world, I’d love to see more proactive win-win thinking instead of zero-sum tactics.
It would be nice if disagreements ended more times with “I understand what you’re saying” rather than two sides lobbing unlimited arsenals of their own stink over a Berlin-style wall, trying to make the other smell worse.
Good luck out there!